Does whatever a spider can…
- Guess we’re going to have to assume some sort of introductory foo, here. Otherwise no-one’ll know who Spider-Man is, in medias res and all. Apart from what we saw in Civil War.
- Well, lady, you just lost all our sympathy. You don’t stiff someone on a contract.
- Yeah, those are some pretty nice things.
- Ah, quick recap.
- Nice self-awareness there, Tony.
- Yeah, waiting on the call sure does suck.
- Seriously, a dick pun is the best you can do?
- You need some sort of changing room. Really.
- Also, more work, maybe.
- Nice toys, boys. We can’t exactly approve of what y’all opening guys are doing, but still, you don’t stiff people on contracts.
- Man, you broke the Death Star.
- LARB.
- Free pudding, yay! Hopefully not made from larb.
- Although those would all be really cool powers. And they’re good questions. Should work on those.
- Okay, how did they get Cap to make those videos?
- Ah, the perks of Avenger-hood.
- Okay, score one for the stunner-fist.
- Oh, your boss is not going to be happy you lost that.
- Your power-set is really very poorly adapted to suburbia.
- Nice parachute feature. Needs some beta-testing.
- Ooh, remote-control suits. Nice.
- Also nice reference. Shame no-one has the background knowledge to get it.
- “The Shocker”? Well, I suppose it’s slightly better than Taserface…
- Seriously, you’ve got to remember which gun is which.
- I applaud your lair-logic.
- So, what do strontium, barium, and vibranium have in common?
- “Training Wheels Protocol”? Seriously, Tony, that’s a name that almost demands that someone turn it off, and you had to know that Peter’d go looking. Maybe “Prevent Your Head From Exploding Protocol; Do Not Disable”? At least then he’d have to read the code first.
- Really, ammo selection should be her job, or what’s a suit AI for?
- I’ll take one of those portable doors.
- At least it’s not a radioactive energy core.
- Dear lift-lady: Less reassurance, more action.
- Now that’s an awesome drone.
- Someone throw that guy out of the elevator and let the reasonable people be rescued.
- Well, that kinda-sorta worked.
- “Man-Spider”? Come on, guys, get it together.
- Seriously, WHO GOT CAP TO MAKE THESE VIDEOS?
- …these protocol names really aren’t getting any better.
- And seriously, Peter, get Karen to read you the instructions first.
- Okay, someone needs to have a word or two with you about collateral budgets.
- And, oh yeah, how even not fancy space guns can fire through wrapping.
- …so close.
- Ooh, a swarm of shovebots. We like.
- Desperation. It’s a hell of a drug.
- Man, harsh. Although it’s not like Tony doesn’t have a good point. Several of them. From experience.
- Ah, young love. At least you’re getting good advice on this one.
- …oh, my. This will work out badly.
- Although credit to him, offering a life for a life.
- At least he didn’t ask for your pants, dude.
- Glad someone’s having a good time. In the chair.
- Although Peter is definitely right that y’all should do more listening.
- Is that self-repairing? I don’t think that’s self-repairing.
- Good strategy. Much overkill. Smart. Not good enough, certainly, but still smart.
- And there it is. (We were noticing your heroic quality all along. Glad you caught up with us.)
- Pretty sure ‘retroreflector’ is not the term, there.
- Is that really a case of arc reactors?
- You can’t believe that worked?
- …now that. Damn. That was an awesome landing.
- It’s over. You know it, you know there’s nothing to be gained, and you’ve been an honorable enemy thus far. Don’t —
- — do that.
- Nice note.
- Yeah, you’ve got to secure the bathroom first.
- No, that may be your worst analogy ever, and it’s up against some damn stiff competition.
- ..we hope you’re going to give him Karen back. They were really bonding.
- Awwww. We’re all so happy for you crazy kids.
- Ah, you did! Excellent.
- Oops. (And, man, are we going to be disappointed not to see how that conversation ended before we see Spider-Man again in Infinity War.)
- Well done, sir.
- …you’re just trolling us now, aren’t you?
This is a companion discussion topic for the original entry at https://eldraeverse.com/2019/05/01/cultural-crossovers-16-spider-man-homecoming