This thread needs an established character, I ween, so I give it one:
This is Abigail Zhang.
Abby works for the State Department. She’s a diplomatic facilitator for visitors from the Empire.
It might be thought a little odd that a group whose total representation on Earth would fit aboard a single medium-sized spaceliner - and whose population in America has yet to break two digits - would need a dedicated diplomatic facilitator, but, she thinks, that’s only among people who haven’t met them.
But when someone flagrantly ignores local building, employment, and various other regulations on the grounds that they’re the dumbest thing they ever heard, or feels the need to educate the police on courtesy, or hands out non-FDA-approved medical biotech like candy, or resurrects American megafauna without consulting with anyone first, or tells Congress that while they aren’t technically here to destroy their way of life, they won’t exactly mourn if it happens accidentally, or rescues puppies from a now on-fire research lab on the grounds that they always take the side of bitches over sons-of-bitches, or sells radiothermal generators without a license, or accidentally reads classified files because sufficiently weak encryption is indistinguishable from no encryption, or when NASA’s/SpaceX’s extremely expensive starflight consultant takes a nighttime walk which ends with a few dozen local lowlives chopped into gangbanger hamburger, or any of the other half-dozen incidents that happened this last month, Abby’s there.
(Rapidly accumulating enough frequent flier miles to go interstellar.)
Valiantly smoothing ruffled feathers, talking down prosecutors, organizing coverups, and ladling out all the bullshit that a very expensive legal education has equipped her with. For national security, For the greater good of the country. And in the interests of not starting an interstellar war, no matter how eager those idiots in Congress sometimes seem to have one.
And her bosses still won’t let her put “Associate of the Apocalypse” on her cards.
Abigail Zhang, ladies and gentlemen. Buy her a drink. She needs it more than anyone else on the planet.
(Among other things that she may be covering up is the off-books import of a shit-ton of alien stress pills.)