Also, since we’re talking hilarious, drug dealers looking for a new product they can cook up with their recently acquired wet-fab find these:
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“Why is that orange-haired kid buying all of those Model 4400v nanofacs?”
“Don’t know…but he’s paying cash, so who cares?”
I’m trying to look for an early post about how first-contact cruisers are usually heavily armed in order to shoot down the inevitable nuclear exchange that occurs when the balkanized contact race decides to annihilate itself in a moment of tactical confusion. The memes generated after the shootdown would be fitting here, I think.
Something like:
A NUCLEAR APOCALYPSE
ONE SPARKLY BOY
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Also a small cadre of nerds dropping on their knees and chanting “En Sabah Nur!”
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So I’ve read over the article again - if certain tellings of the story are correct, Kaguya descended to earth in a Flapjack-class transport.
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Reading an article about the problems of dealing with shoplifting, especially where it turns into organized retail theft gangs, and specifically about the problems of customers being discouraged by locking up products and corporations not permitting their staff to stop shoplifting for their own safety/liability reasons.
Local All Good Things, ICC director of Loss Prevention:
“Get me Samoans in power armor.”
Overheard later, elsewhere:
“You din’t bitch this much when we robbed Target!”
“That’s 'cause Target don’t tear people’s arms off when they catch 'em!”
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“God, I LOVE watching ICC in action! Do you have a mop donation fund to clean the mess up?”
They have an extensive PR department very well practiced in rephrasing “eh, shit happens” for the public misunderstanding.
Alethiometers.
Just… alethiometers.
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“Based on these readings, you’re full of shit.”
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“Wow…it’s not even that they’re lying. It’s that they’re lying so badly…”
I think the last thing we need is a follower of Leiríäh telling our politicians how to lie more convincingly
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I was thinking more of YouTube roasts. “It’s not so much the lying, lad, it’s the sheer incompetence that you bring to it.”
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“You need to shave your nose-hairs.”
“Oh crap, are they poking out?”
“First of all, the fact that that’s how you decide when to shave is abhorrent. Secondly, no. I can bloody HEAR them.”
“I don’t see how-”
“Recall for a moment the no-dog-whistles sign hanging on my front door, and realise that when I’m stuck in a gathering with you lot, I can hear every single nose-hair whistling in your snot-filled breeze. Your… woodwinds have dropped out of their C#10 resonance in the last week, which means they are contacting the opposite wall and IT IS TIME TO SHAVE.”
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Urban Dictonary-
Dolly Cuddler
Post-contact human who uploads to a bioshell or high-end cyber-shell, often to engage in sex acts and/or acts of physical intimacy. Usual implication is of sex acts that are culturally taboo (i.e. cross-sex/transgender play, BDSM, same-sex play, etc), illegal outside of bioshells without a serious chain of custody (i.e. pedophilia/ephebophilia play, zoophilia, severe body modification, etc), and/or immoral (i.e. claiming that they aren’t cheating because it wasn’t them that did it).
Related to early post-contact treatment of high-end Imperial simulation space operations. Most entertainment venues would shift their advertising to presenting a “real” experience versus “a video game” (with an implied level of cheapness/“tawdry”/commonality to the act). Etymology suggests the term was used in a derogatory manner in several Las Vegas blog posts PC +3, when referring to a high-end “event experience” at one of the Strip casinos.
“Yea, Levon’s wife caught him dolly-cuddling. Went to Chicago for meetings and was pretending to be a teenage cheerleader being plowed by a bull while he was there.”
A secondary and rarer use of the term was for people who would upload an Alpha or Beta fork into a bioshell or cyber-shell when the primary user was in circumstances where they couldn’t be in a location physically but wanted to maintain an intimate relationship with people. The usual relationship type was with a spouse or children, with the occasional rare “body tripper” experience. Considered a rude term in this context (but better than a mamahive, Cassibody, or pack Father).
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Great entry, although I would submit this is way too urbane for urban dictionary
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Urbane dictionary should be a thing.
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Damn it, looks like somebody already owns urbanedictionary.com