Rules For Isekai Operatives (Random Notes)

General Fanfic
1

…at some point, I’m going to have to write this story…but one of the things that my character does is write his notes for future references to any other Eldrae operatives the Transend sends into Human worlds to try and fix things…

  • First rule, and most important. Always have a spooker. Get one as soon as possible. Your spooker should have your first body in storage, enough supplies to operate for at least sixty days, a way to update your body covertly, a complete Charlie-5 kit, and very well hidden. Anything else is a bonus.
    Once you have it set up, only visit it in the most dire of emergencies. The fewer contacts you have, the better.
    (Charle-5 kit is the kit the Transend gives to the people they pick for operations in other world lines.)
  • Make friends. Always make friends. Take care of your friends. Help them out, support them, but never baby them.
  • Organized crime isn’t, for the most part. So, treat every transaction with organized crime as “cold” (I.e. trust nothing until you’ve checked everything).
  • Most big criminal organizations have ways to make and store money in large quantities. Since these ways are often illegal, they have few (but violent) ways to deal with a robbery. Figure out the best way to raid them for your initial stake (i.e. the “Omar Little” effect), and don’t get cocky.
  • Don’t hide your needle in a haystack. Hide your needles in a needle stack. If you have to do something that might be noticed, give your oppo as many false positives as you can.
  • Remember the Moscow Rules and live them.
  • Get an (augmented) human body as soon as possible. The ears and the height are nice for a proper Imperial, but you’re noticeable in many places.
    (And it’s hard to bounce around the sci-fi/anime convention circuit without people asking questions.)
  • Have your first human body be as different from your original baseline body as much as you can reasonably stand.
  • Break old habits when running your cover, as much as you can. In quite a few places, even simple pattern-tracking techniques can be used to find you if you’re not careful.
  • Be quiet (i.e. living your cover and avoiding being noticeable) as much as possible until you’re at Stage Three or Four.
  • Sometimes, you’re going to have to choose between the lesser of two evils. Make sure that’s as rare as possible.
  • Human sexuality-to your newly augmented brain-will get weird at times.
    There’s an app for that.
    Enjoy the ride.
  • Don’t taunt the oppo. Don’t taunt the oppo. Don’t taunt the oppo.
    No matter how tempted you are, it never ends well.
  • Sometimes, the only difference between caution and paranoia is when the oppo is raiding the building across the street looking for you, because you went into that building, and used the tunnel you dug to hide in another building.
  • Know the difference between an enemy and an opponent.
    An opponent is someone that, at the end of the day, you can buy a beer with and lament about work.
    An enemy is someone you’re going to have to destroy at the first opportunity.
    Don’t confuse the two.
  • Murder is rarely a good solution.
    Just remember that murder is also a narrow subset of homicide in most countries.
  • Most problems have a single, simple solution.
    The problem with that solution is that the logistics are often terrible.
  • When in doubt, solve your hardest problem first and work your way down.
  • Dropping a sex-change nanomachine bomb on your local version of the Nazis is highly unethical.
    Massively hilarious.
    But highly unethical.
    (Even more unethical is fitting them with puppeteer links and recording the orgy. Not even if you cut them in for a percentage of the net.)
  • Do unto others.
    Do it first.
    Do it mean.
    And don’t stand and revel in the glory of it when you’re done.
  • The Golden Rule (i.e. treat others as how you wish to be treated) and the Meta-Golden Rule (i.e. treat your inferiors as you wish your superiors to treat you) are vital. Nobody likes a Karen.
  • Honor your word. The universe is bad enough without people who can’t be trusted to honor their commitments. It doesn’t mean you have to promise anything to anyone…just honor your word and your promises when you do.
  • The best and scariest possible thing you can give someone is a genuine stake in a better future for themselves and those they care about.
    Never, ever lie about that.
  • An ounce of prevention is better than an kilo of anti-hydrogen.
    (Except as rocket fuel.)
  • Never create a plan that requires everything to go right. Never expect everything to go wrong, either.
  • Only shoot at law enforcement if you’ve run out of other choices. Most places, law enforcement is like family-you might hate members of your family, but nobody shoots your brother except you.
2

Now, now, “provoke and confront” is ExSec’s bread and butter strategy.

“That’s how James Bond did it, that’s how Miles Vorkosigan does it, and it’s worked out pretty well so far!”

Do not ever forget the distinction between colleagues and friends. Or between good enemies and friends. Or between your friends and your cover’s friends. Losing track of these nuances is the first step towards going native, and that’s the first step to ending up on Three’s cleanup list.

This is what fixers are for. You will need two.

The first, you will give the “I am giving you one opportunity to disappoint me” speech to. He will.

The second, you will also give the “I am giving you one opportunity to disappoint me” speech to. He will not.

(Remember, it is never too early to ensure that your reputation is… solid.)

While you’re at it, figure out why you didn’t call RA-PWG before you left, given that they have large helpfully anonymized piles of every currency in the known galaxy specifically so that field agents don’t have to waste time on off-mission resource acquisition. (Unless you are working for Resource Acquisition, in which case you have other problems, like managing the web of front companies that launders the profits of half the Seven-Elevens in Eastern Europe into black, or at least gray, money.)

…well, someone needs a talk from the Ethics Committee.

Leaving aside for a moment all the potential here for awkward interviews with the Ethics Committee and the bestiality jokes you will endure from your colleagues - if the conditioning isn’t holding, get thee to R&E and have them fix that, stat. Sexuality in an agent is a mission-oriented function, not an opportunity for wick-dipping on company time, especially since that is another well-known cause of going native, and you’re not doing your partner any favors by getting them on Three’s cleanup list.

And, for that matter, unprofessional.

As the proverb says:

The art of generalship is not in arranging matters such that the chosen path leads to victory, but in arranging matters such that all paths lead to a victory.

Of course…

…the ability to steeple your fingers just so, smirk smugly, and declare “Just as planned.” is half the fun. It also has the advantage of driving the oppo into fits of incoherent stupidity.

Stick to the Silver Rule. People are different, and if there’s one thing experience teaches us, it’s that most people don’t actually want to be treated the way we treat each other.

…are you even one of us?

3

There’s a fundamental difference between “provoke and confront” versus “taunt.” Especially in your early days when it’s just YOU or a small team. Leaving hilarious notes is one thing (just make sure it’s clean of any forensic evidence). Mooning the Secret Police building with your holographically-augmented butt in person, in real time is pushing it.

Don’t forget, “make it as rare as possible.”

“Keep running, Florence. There’s a difference between savoring a victory and choking on it.”

There’s an app for that!

If you’ve just exploded out of the trash-filled locker that you were stuffed into by your “friends,” or you’ve barely survived being hit by truck-kun before getting Touched By The Transcend, you might be short on starting materials…

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5

“What, what, what are you doing?!?”
“Killing monsters.”

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