Things Eldrae Would Definitely Not Appreciate

To provide the diametric opposite to @Morgrim’s Things Eldrae Might Appreciate thread, this one provides a space for things that they would definitely not appreciate. (Primarily stupidity and barbarianism, I suspect.)

The starting-off entry can be “Please Savor the Flavor Responsibly”, and other such disclaimers at the end of beer commercials, on the grounds that

  1. What are the things, exactly, that you’re supposed to do irresponsibly? Everything else?
  2. If you have to be warned to consume intoxicating substances responsibly, you’re not responsible enough to consume intoxicating substances, period. And that’s between you and your tort insurer.
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In the same vein (commercials), drug advertisements:

1: Why am I getting advertisements for pharmaceuticals? I’m not a doctor, do you expect me to plan my medical regimen? Because that’s what I pay my doctor for.
2: Could you provide a little more info than “this is intended to treat X disorder”, maybe substitute that in place of the clips of happy people?
3: Ah, yes. The possible side effects are “everything between a cough and spontaneous death”. Thank you, that narrows it down greatly, very informative.


(US) Advertisements for the 2020 census.

Because the theme “you should respond to the census in order to ensure you get your fair share” is pretty much the worst. That’s not how you appeal to self-interest, and even if it was, you shouldn’t appeal to people’s self-interest to get them to fulfil their civic duties obligations. That’s something you do because you’re not a defaulting sack of crap.

…oh, wait, this is a sémódarmóníë, right? Never mind that last.

Further to this particular thread, I should like to submit Operation Crossroads as further evidence for the “clearly, humans don’t actually have souls” file.

Well, there’s a defining statement for the Antithetical Heresy of the Deedless Cripple, if ever I heard one.