Post-Contact Hilarity

As a side note, California has literally no idea how lucky it got in receiving someone who finds it amusing to play the game, rather than someone who prefers to go with the “It’s not a question of who’s going to let me; it’s the question of who’s going to stop me.” option. (Obtaining permits, after all, implicitly concedes the right of the issuer to demand permits.) There are a lot more of the latter.

(Also, dear gods, I want to hear the fuss made by the building inspector who realizes that he hasn’t heard of half of these materials and that code, oddly enough, doesn’t seem to say so explicitly but he’s pretty sure you’re not supposed to have anything in your basement with “reactor” in the name.)

In not entirely unrelated notes, the IRS has joined the ranks of galactic taxation agencies who would greatly appreciate it if various corporations would cease opening their letters with “From the Office of the Comptroller of Iniquitous Extortions and Unavenged Robberies, greetings and high contempt.”

(This will never happen.)

They’re possible. See the Imperial Charter, Sec. III, Art. IV, Right of Person and Property:

In recognizing the sacred and fundamental Right of Domain, the responsibilities of the citizen notwithstanding, all Imperial citizen-shareholders shall retain the inviolability of their minds, persons, homes, data, correspondence, and honor, save in accordance with strict process of justice, upon probable cause and within specific bounds, or for the immediate public safety.

And Art. V, Responsibility of Law:

It shall be the duty of each citizen-shareholder of the Empire to abide by this Charter and respect its ideals and institutions; to follow the law of the Empire in such matters as this Charter shall provide for the existence of such law;

That said, they are much more constrained than in typical Earth jurisdictions. For one thing, the Curial courts take “probable cause” very, very seriously and don’t hand out search warrants like candy. They are very specific where what can be searched and what for are concerned. There are no such highly dubious innovations such as “no-knock” warrants, obviously. And searches must be, legally, carried out in the presence of the property owner, with a minimum of inconvenience caused (duplicating where possible, rather than seizing, for example), and with a courtesy, respect, and delicacy of touch entirely alien to the bunch of unhanged thugs which passes for law enforcement here in the United States.

Also, consider Art. VIII: Non-Imposition:

nor shall the Empire impose uncompensated costs, mandates, or restrictions upon citizen-shareholders, unless public necessity, legally determined, shall clearly demand it, and when they shall have been previously and equitably indemnified, under the principle of eminent domain.

If they have to search your property, and you aren’t in fact guilty of your special crime, you will be compensated for it and for associated inconveniences at the usual 108/96ths rate.

(Of course, when they catch the person actually responsible for the crime, said compensation goes on his bill, under the general principle that the criminal, as the one responsible for causing the whole messy affair in the first place, should pay all society’s costs in cleaning it up.)

There is the term “bothering by the book” and the understanding that many of these “protest groups” want you to pay them off (directly or indirectly) to make them turn the lawsuit spigot off, because it is theoretically cheaper to do that than to deal with a court case.

I suspect that the response of 90% of most Imperials is going to be returning (legal) fire with every sort of lawsuit and injunction in return. And they probably won’t stop if the protest groups decide to drop the case themselves. Oh no, you’ve gotten their full attention and that’s never a good thing.

“Here’s the hilarious thing. I can’t cite you for anything about this reactor. Meets or exceeds all requirements for a on-site power plant. Doesn’t need fire code checks because there’s no fuel tanks or incoming supply of gas, that kind of thing. Has a UL rating, securely mounted, meets or exceeds yet again for everything else. Except that the city is a nuclear-free zone and it doesn’t specify what kind of nuclear devices they’re talking about. And yes, some idiot already tried to ban the sun shining here and any kind of medical or industrial radiological materials. Something about his mushroom farm. There’s shitty case-law in either direction, call it 65-35 in your favor if I had to guess.”
“So? What’s going to happen?”
"I’m going to issue a provisional permit, county and state, dated starting today and gets mailed to stake-holders on Monday morning. It defaults to an actual permit if the city doesn’t contest it in ninety days from today and the way things are, it’ll probably be next Friday by the time it gets on their desk. Certified mail with a receipt and all that, got to maintain chain of custody.
“If the city wants to contest it, they’ll have to hire another law firm to handle this case, along with all of the other cases they’ve got right now.”

Having dealt with the EU, or worse the HRMC and their goals of taxing everything except oxygen (and that’s only because they can’t figure out how to do that without making enough jobs for various Parliamentary spoils), the IRS seems rather calm and quaint in comparison. Massive pillocks, absolutely, but serene ones.

And, in fairness, this is someone who is voluntarily choosing to live in California, the only reasonable explanation for which, given their native cultural milieu, is that they are dedicated to trolling beyond all reasonable limits and parlaying that natural talent into a contract for some gods-awful low-brow reality show like Come And See The Barbarism Inherent In The System.

(Although the episode where he visited the Bay Area in a full environment suit to demonstrate that the local air would be considered unfit for inhalation under established standards for industrial habitats on hostile-environment planets was funny. I’ll admit that.)

But really, the majority position is much more along the lines of “No matter how the wind howls, the mountain cannot bow to it.”


On another note, are you meaning to be quoting upside-down?

The big problem-as a born California native, no less!-is that the state has far too may things that should make it the Heavenly Paradise. Good weather (you have to go and find snow and heat, for the most part). Good-to-great access to the sea (two of the biggest ports on the West Coast). Lots of places to find people that are willing to work and make a better life.

And yet, the people in charge of the state and their enablers have fundamentally f(YAY!)ked it up beyond all recognition. To the point where Illinois and Michigan are better states.

Fixed!

As a side note, California has literally no idea how lucky it got in receiving someone who finds it amusing to play the game, rather than someone who prefers to go with the “It’s not a question of who’s going to let me; it’s the question of who’s going to stop me.” option. (Obtaining permits, after all, implicitly concedes the right of the issuer to demand permits.)

I’d actually expect the Eldrae to generally abide by most permit-required schemes, under the theory that they are intended to make sure that whatever you are doing on that land is not pushing various external costs from your activities onto someone else’s property without some measure of compensation or abatement in place.

Do the permitting schemes live up to that? Well, no, but it is yet an imperfect universe and at least they’re trying.

I’m sure the Empire has some related concept.

if I’m not mistaken, Imperials would argue that:

  1. If you’re going to go around generating externalities, you should be expected to pay them off, as per the Fundamental Contract
  2. A permit that removes your freedom to exercise that option and reduces it to a binary choice of “do or do not” is unjust
  3. If you do inflict externalities on your neighbours without compensating them, it is well within your neighbours’ rights to stop you and demand reparation.

Many externalities cannot be easily compensated for; “just pay it off” isn’t a valid option in many cases. “Just don’t do it” is the default fall-back for very good reason.

Well, I could talk about the nature of the social contract and the fascinating grammatical quirk of how “contract” (like “justice”) is one of those words possessing the unique property of transmuting adjectives placed before it of any kind into “not a”. But I’ve done that before, and it’s not really the point.

The point is found in a comparison of how systems work.

Those Imperially-acculturated come from a culture of authority (by the real definition, not the one deeply confused moderns use) and reason. It has to be that way, since as the former points out, you’re dealing with people who respect little except excellence, which they respect greatly, and don’t intimidate worth a damn.

Every Harmonious Proposal of Unquestionable Justice and Incontrovertible Benignity, therefore, from the Architectural Courtesy Edicts to the Ungentlemanly Behavior Act comes complete with extensive justifications and evidence that they in fact are unquestionably just and incontrovertibly benign, both true and beautiful, and take only the minimum necessary advantage¹ of the deference granted to the Empire’s law by the voluntary devotion of its citizen-shareholders. Because that’s the other side of the deal that maintains the voluntary devotion of its citizen-shareholders.

Insofar as Earth culture is more reliant on appeals to status (“As Top Men, we know better than you, and you should accept that without troubling us with questions”), sacral majoritarianism (“democratically-elected! that means whatever we do is right!”), and force (“because we’re the government and we say so”), it’s trying to yank on levers that just don’t exist³.

So given this particular vast cultural delta, is it any wonder that the Imperially-acculturated soph takes one look at the output of the democracy-and-special-interest-driven regulatory process and concludes that these are regulations for retarded fascist degenerates⁴, written for the purpose of controlling, profiting from, and/or counting status-coup on them by somewhat-more-thuggish-than-average retarded fascist degenerates, awarding them in consequence a deferential weight of zero?

They’ll still follow the Architectural Courtesy Edicts, though.

It’s only polite.


  1. Having agreed per Charter and law to abide by, for example, the Architectural Courtesy Edicts², and being a grown-ass gentlesoph, we will take your word for it until and unless proven otherwise, and not feel the urge to micromanage you nor insist you come begging to us for permission to do what you are plainly entitled to do.

  2. A body of codes governing permissible externalities, both additive (e.g., noise, light, or smoke) and subtractive (e.g. shadows, or wideband energy scavenging), permitted and forbidden for the owner of one block of volumetric property to impose upon another.

  3. Although the combined tone of whining, hectoring, and threatening that most official communications are written in does manage to push at least a couple of buttons.

  4. Which probably strikes them as a rather harsh judgment on humanity in general, which really begs the question of why exactly humans permit themselves to be ruled by people who so obviously think of them with such contempt. But in any case, even if you’re willing to concede the accuracy of the description, you racist you, it could not possibly apply to them.

(Harsh language intended to confer the magnitude of the cultural delta. But, I note, based on a quick sampling, big political issues in CA as of this morning include:

  1. We must take more stuff from more people to make them more equal.

  2. Progress in technology is probably evil and destroying the world.

and

  1. We mustn’t enforce even really basic laws against things like theft because it would harm poor people and ethnic minorities.

In the “displaying coronargyr” by Imperial standards stakes, therefore, the California government is starting out at “regressive, bigoted brigands fundamentally opposed to civilization” and has one hell of a long way to climb before reaching the neutral level of “not passively fucking things up simply by existing”.)

2 Likes

…there’s a reason why I’m looking for both work and a place to live that qualifies for at least “not passively fucking things up simply by existing” and working very hard to keep it from going south.

Yes, the People’s Republic of California sucks harder than anything up to and including one of those Extropa Energy CeeTee generators…

1 Like

Idaho is pretty decent. We’re working real hard on the “Don’t Californicate Idaho” ideas.

Assuming that you have a tech job, anyways. Got both HP and Micron centers here.

1 Like

It may be worth noting at this point that the first headline I saw this morning, on checking to investigate the state of the world, was as follows:

EPA Employees Asked To Stop Pooping In The Hallway

… Top. Men.


On permitting schemes and externality-handling generally, I am also reminded of an elsewhere-thread I wrote a while back on the topic of zoning, which appears to have some relevance here. I quote:

Even if you leave aside the usual libertarian complaints about zoning, which are much more “shamelessly corrupt extortion attempts by local pols” than “people stopping me from building an industrial maggot farm next door to their idyll”, the fundamental problem with zoning is that it isn’t an anti-externality (“don’t shit up the place”) measure, it’s a pro-externality (“shit over everything all you want as long as it’s not near anyone worth speaking of”) measure.

Proper libertopian property law encourages those who want loud, bright and stinky things to invest in preventions and mitigations such as cork, berms, and plants that don’t fucking leak, etal., in order to be Good Neighbors, rather than building the shittiest permissible plant in the comfortable knowledge that the government will stand as an immovable protective barrier between you and the poor bastards who lack the political clout to remove your shit-spreading permit.

(This thought brought to you by Cargill Meat Solutions when the wind is from the east-north-east.)

So, to respond to @Maximilian_Crichton and @Morgrim 's comments, where externalities are concerned, just bear in mind what Tanky the Property Rights Honey Badger always says:

in-your-voxel

The Contract, after all, says “A person’s property and domicile may not be moved, destroyed, occupied, damaged, altered, or made use of without his informed consent.” May not. You can’t do it anyway and pay compensation - compensation is what happens after you lose the lawsuit or have the accident. The rules are very simple: you have your block of volumetric property. Your doings should stay inside the boundary, where they are internalities.

Compensation only comes into play when something goes sideways (or upwards, or downwards, or otherwise out of your block), at which point the adequacy of your efforts to prevent things from going sideways becomes a very notable factor in how the suit turns out.

Now, there are inevitably complications where this simple principle is concerned, which is where things like the Architectural Courtesy Edicts come in in adjudicating questions like “a certain degree of diffuse light shines, winds blow, shadows are cast, leaves fall, and there’s a little bit of background noise, and that’s called ‘nature’, so get over it”, and the Protectorate of Balance, Externality, and the Commons, dealing with things that don’t count as local externalities but which do count as global externalities, and so forth.

But the core principle is very simple: The concomitant to strong property rights is strong property responsibilities, to the last mil.

2 Likes

CONCORD, NH - Controversy erupted today when, concerning recent protests against imperialism and settler-colonialism in the Empire’s relationship with Earth, a scientific attaché attached to the Imperial embassy observed that her ancestors had lived on Earth approximately 120,000 years before the emergence of Homo sapiens, and as such, if indigeneity was the matter at hand, everyone with less unquestionably ancient title could kindly do her the guest’s courtesy of shutting the hell up.

Upon being asked for an official comment, the ambassador issued a statement reading, in its entirety, “Never go in against a technarch when pedantry is on the line.”

2 Likes

"So, we invited over our local Imperial for the 4th of July celebrations this year. Big insistence that they don’t bring any fireworks, as the retinal burn wasn’t fun to deal with from last year.
"Him and his wife and kids came over and they brought chocolate cake, apple pie (using apples from some tree that grows only in low-G environments, very crunchy), and what he called ‘Brachistochrone Brew.’
"I looked it up later and it’s a collaborative effort between a local brewery and one of the smaller Imperial breweries. It’s technically an ‘Imperial stout aged in imported cognac barrels’ or ‘deshalír aged in good qerachalír kegs,’ depending on who does the translation. Sweet as hell, not quite syrupy, but goes great with chocolate cake. Very smooth, very easy-drinking.
“Kicks like a mule, mind you. I’m shocked that it’s only an 8.5% ABV, I keep thinking that it should have been more…”

I briefly considered a lawsuit concerning Nano-Magic™ Space Spackle™, its promise that it “fills all holes and bonds all surfaces” that is very clearly stated on the label, and a disclaimer of liability that no matter what it is they are absolutely not responsible for anything Florida Man does with it.

But, alas, it would have to be way less wholesome than its illustration:

1 Like

"We employ Florida Men here. Multiple ones, including a recruitment pipeline because we lose them to fatal casualties so fast.
“The way we figure, if a Florida Man can’t break it or make it malfunction, nothing anyone else can do-including Elder Gods-can break it.”

You also have to go to the local ER and ask them about…the box. Which makes even seasoned ER nurses shake in horror. The worst is the multiples of the exact same item from the same person over months that makes it to…the box.

And yet, once it survives Florida Man testing, it has only begun to be ready for… Ohio.

3 Likes

“This device survived in Axly’s hands for two weeks. It’ll be able to handle everything.”

1 Like

I see you too are a Dragonstar player…

2 Likes