Cultural Crossovers #21: Captain Marvel

As before. Someone with blue blood? Finally! How natural! The Kree homeworld, eh? Thought they were blue-skinned, too. Well, that’s an interesting approach to warrior philosophy. Oh, that kind of Supreme Intelligence. Ah, shapeshifting infiltrators. We do have to wonder about what is going on with the Skrulls, given that what we know so far about the Kree suggests that they are kinda dicks. Empowering implant, or restraining bolt? So, some of them are blue-skinned. Hm. Eumelanin-deficient subspecies. Seems oddly familiar. Impressive shapeshifting. Terrible authentication codes. See what I mean? Terrible authentication codes. …wait, you’re a Terran? No, the audience is at least as confused. Interesting form of memory extraction. Yeah, that’s pretty much the first thing they teach you to watch in espatier school. Although they really should cover how not to make re-entry, too. That said, it takes one hell of a personal force-field not to have left a rather bigger crater than that. Well, your night report is gonna be interesting. Nice technical education, too. Well, hello, young-looking Coulson and primordial Fury. I love a subtle undercover mission. Wait, so did you go back to not acronymizing yourselves at some point? “Not on the periodic table?” Seriously? Someone’s memory blocking techniques need work. See, this is why you don’t use that as a substitute for memory erasure, and preferably filling in the gaps. Are you wondering yet where your stock of Terran lore comes from? I presume they didn’t cover that in Kree school? You’re gonna have a very confusing family. Aw, they’re bonding. Nice kitty. Nice, not at all suspicious, kitty. So, a Kree researcher building something on Earth. I wonder what the Kree is for “stone knives and bearskins”. Oh, my. Now that’s an interesting picture, isn’t it? See, cold, rational judgment at this point would also conclude that that guy’s lying like a weasel. Always that good, huh, Coulson. Ah, Ronan. Just popping in to remind us of the dick factor. Always good to have a memory cascade in a box lying around. With just a little deception, then. That was actually an astonishingly nice landing. Oh, of course it is. Who else would it be? Wait. All you need to do to get your ridiculous quantities of mojo is blow up a drive core near yourself? Shit, we’d be blowing them up every week. (Insert chorus of “That’s Not How Any Of This Works.”) Yeah, that sounds like the Accusers. Based on the example we’ve seen, anyway. Kid, we like you. You’ve got a good future. Ah, yes, the curse of the shapeshifter. Taking requests. Always secure your cat before leaving the atmosphere. Hello, spaceship. Miracle you didn’t run into anything up there. Oh, that explains it. It’s that “core”… wait, is that where that’s supposed to be right now? Guess Howard Stark was behind that project at some level? Awww. That’s a cute name for brainwashing. Hard to fight inside someone else’s virtuality. Now that, on the other hand… …especially since that is a restraining bolt… …and the “Supreme Intelligence” appears to lack quite a lot by way of actual supremacy. Well, that’s one way to encase an Infinity Stone. Damn lucky you didn’t accidentally a flerken’ god, though. Yes, very good kitty. Not so good kitty. Unless… …damn, he’s good at that. Nice flying! Who needs a plane when you have incredible cosmic power, right? Also: evidently the (yellow) mind stone in the scepter empowers people with blue-themed mojo, while the (blue) space stone empowers people with yellow-themed mojo. Does that seem right to you? They’re not ballistic warheads if they have engines, guys. Sorry, but no. And they’re severely outmatched. May I suggest the tactical maneuver known as Running The Fuck Away While You Still Have Ships Left? “Or not.” And that would be why Fury never tells the eye story. So, one reversed-order pager incluing. Ah, yes, the so-briefly “Protector Initiative”. Ha! …meanwhile, back in the aftermath, and y’all really should have seen her coming.

This is a companion discussion topic for the original entry at https://eldraeverse.com/2019/10/01/cultural-crossovers-21-captain-marvel

Comments migrated from WordPress:

It’s showing up as one giant lump of text here instead of the usual Marvel Review format

Yeah, doing what amounts to screen-scraping in order to copy the posts from there to here doesn’t always, 'hem, capture all the nuances of the HTML formatting. Evidently some types of unordered lists fail in the same way as uses of the BR tag do.

I mean, I try to keep the formatting simple and clean to minimize the chances of this sort of thing happening, but ultimately, this is why I tell people to read from the actual site, belike. The copies here are only intended as an aide-memoire when commenting.

(Maybe I should switch the code to copy over “only an excerpt” just to hammer the point home…?)

No I think this is fine, I mainly read from the site anyway, but thanks for the clarification!

Weirdly, it didn’t happen to this one, and the formatting is basically the same.

The web, man.

I’d ask what semi-literate baboon wrote the original code, but I think that’s insulting to baboons.

Have more brandy-infused esklav.

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